I used to do the same when online dating -- despite many people's claim to the contrary, much of dating is physical (i.e. visual) attraction, so I sent additional pics (natural, not staged) early in the conversation just to find out if it was going to go anywhere... whether solicited or not.

But I was male -- if a super attractive woman sent me pics unsolicited, then I knew it was a scam. (my apologies if any real women were out there that look like super models, but were searching for your true love online if only someone would help you pay for a visa)

More and more, people seem to mistrust and misunderstand face-to-face communication. Sometimes, they even lack the words to describe a meme or emoji.

For the majority of us, If you talk to a random stranger in a coffee shop/museum/gym, the conversation will be often awkward or reckless.

Second of all, IRL or online, for me it's about doing it the natural way - you know - talk to people. That's what dating online on dating websites should look like, but from the ammount of 'hacks' and 'howtos' I read about, seems it isn't. If I'm to waste my time playing against bunches of creepos with armies of fake accounts instead of socializing with real girls - sorry, I'm out.

Saying that "not everyone you like will be attracted to you" is a very nice way of putting it

Aren't you replying here to ZoFreX's post above, which is not mine? :)

Attraction to someone should be based on real interaction, not virtual profiles that are far away from reality.

If you have never met someone, the problem is that we many times only show one side of ourselves through text only...and often times, it's different than reality.

We would meet up after weeks or months of email/texting and the person would be completely different in terms of the fantasy portrayed online.

After this happened a few times, I had a rule of meeting the other person within 2 weeks or move on.

Its still quite common for couples to come up with an agreed upon lie about how they met lol.

Taking anything people say in their answers at face value is a mistake at best, naive at worst.

These are not technical specs. These are people describing themselves publicly. They'll most likely be inaccurate either by design or unconsciously and rightly so. Yes, rightly so. You can have a PhD woman who drinks wine in her bath tub while she reads Sartre and dissecting Stravinsky who'll be wanting to get her head banged against the head board at that particular moment. Do we think she'll put that thought on her profile? No. She'll refrain from saying that because society likes clear cut labels and will reduce that complex human being to one tiny aspect of her humanity.

That's one reason.

The other reason building all that AI for "online dating" isn't a worthy endeavor is because the point of online is discovery and initial contact. That's it.

Discovery is when you notice a human being you didn't know before. Initial contact is exactly what it says: making contact.

Once you discover their existence, you make contact. You chat for a bit and hopefully you like each other to a certain degree. Then you go to another platform, namely Skype, and have a chat to get a feel of each other's vibe, voice, body, etc. Yes, people are willing to get naked but only for people who're used to get other people naked.. One of those "free for those who can afford it" things that are thrown at those who aren't starving for it.

But maybe they're listening to some music they find cool (sometimes really cool music) and they want you to listen with them.

Then from Skype to exchanging phone numbers. Skype and not Facebook because Skype is a better firewall than Facebook. It's easier to eliminate someone from your life after a Skype chat than after a Facebook one because if you stumble on an unstable person, now they have access to your friends and your real name and can stalk you or cause a scene. Also, Skype is more discreet. It avoids them the questions from other people about you. Maybe it's too early to parade you in front of their friends. Maybe they're afraid their friend steals you. Maybe they're engaged. Facebook adds degrees of freedom people would do without at this stage.

After exchanging phone numbers, you meet. People decide if they want to have sex with another person during discovery and contact and if they're going to have sex with another person during a Skype session. In other words, you can in most cases directly meet somewhere suitable for this (taking a room) for you both want each other.

And there you have it, the beginning of a relationship.

From this, you see that the actual time spent with each person on the discovery/contact platform is tiny and doesn't justify building "an AI" for it because it'd be like building "an AI" for football locker rooms when the game is played on football fields. A better example would be building an AI to handle powering up a computer and finding the best ways to push the power button. The problems in software don't exist because people don't know how to turn on a computer, it what happens next.

Similarly, the problems in "dating" don't exist because people don't "find" other people.. It's because they lack the skills to take it from there to add to their lives and to the lives of those they meet.

As I said, you seem like a qualified person. If I had your skills, I wouldn't be doing that.

The real problem is not with online dating but with fake accounts. I used to write well crafted letters that resulted in interesting dates. Now, I have no easy way of verifying I am not writing to a bot.

The takeaway for me is profile pictures, physical appearance and class/status signifiers (vacations, hobbies, nice things in/around the picture) were all that mattered and if someone was sold on that all you really had to do was not get in your own way by saying something stupid.