Consider others that are less focused on hookups.

Also try meeting people naturally. For example, Meetups and the such. Even other guys(they have female friends) and just try and socialize frequently. Also I'd say meeting someone at a cycling/climbing/any activity type clubs are great too. Or even board game or movie type clubs. If you are a se at big tech company. They sometimes have social event groups going on all the time. Just gotta find them.

Also don't wait for people to invite you places. The quickest way to get invited to places with peers and acquaintinces is to invite them to do something. A movie. Board games. Hiking. Potluck. Etc..

1) You'll be forced to be out of your comfort zone, which might be one of the reasons you are not meeting people: its comfortable not to (I've been there).

2) You'll be performing truly ridiculous acts, in its hilarity you'll likely form some bonds with the other students. Take the advantage to go for some drinks after.

3) Improv is all about being present, in the moment. Guess what, wooing women is the same.

4) You'll learn a thing or two about interpersonal relations. Which is good.

Now, the best way to meet women that you want to seriously date is through friends, since you claim you don't have a social circle, I would recommend that you focus on building one. So, in your improv classes, invite these new acquaintances for a pint of beer.

Finally, women, in my experience, are not as fixated in physical traits as we men are. Thus, I would not worry about your hair loss that much, and work more on improving social interactions. It is, however, important that you keep yourself presentable: nice clothes, brushed teeth, get some lotion, decent haircut.

- Not thinking about it as a thing someone does. - Not limiting oneself to places they judge to be the places to do that non thing (I don't know why people think it has to be in bar, club, gym.)

There's an enormous pressure on people that makes them do sad things. Going to meetups and "trying to make friends" is a bit sad because the premise is depressing.

You can meet people everywhere. Street, café, bus, beach, etc.

Here's a great way: have a standard reaction to someone looking at you. Warm smile (no need to show teeth, even), and a light "hi". Nothing fancy.

With anyone who looks at you long enough (old lady, big dude, police officer).

This prevents you from thinking of coming up with something to say, and trying to come up with something to say is what gets most people in trouble. It is also positive to the other person, simple. It is what you do with people you know.

The important thing here isn't really the reaction of the others. Some will ignore you. Some will think you're strange. Maybe they're having a bad day.

You will get in a lot of conversations with a lot of people in different situations. It takes the pressure out to "find friends" at meetups/bars/gyms at specific times because you can talk with anyone you want.

It might be true but that's still not a good advice, you should rather ( if you know how ) advice him how to make it 'here' instead of 'there'.

Another important thing is to make sure you have good posture and confidence in your words. Make sure you stand up straight when walking but relax your shoulders lest you look like a police officer. And when talking to people in general (not just women) don't be afraid to show confidence in what you're talking about, be specific and upfront if you don't know something about a topic, and assert yourself in a conversation when appropriate. Also don't be afraid of silence in a conversation, it gives people in the conversation time to reflect on what was just discussed and possibly come up with another topic.

Lastly, the best way to meet other people -- dating and a significant other is important but friends are probably more important in the long run -- is to find activities that you would enjoy and meet them through that. If you like or are interested in tennis, dancing (ballroom, Latin (salsa, bachata, tango), swing), swimming, hiking, etc., start doing them and see if you want to keep with it. Specifically for dancing, there are generally not a lot of good leaders (men) so if you get good you'll get a lot of attention if you progress and Seattle is a good city for specific kinds of dancing like Argentine tango. And don't forget to build friendships on the lookout for a relationship; I do believe that friendships are at least as important in the long run than a relationship so do not forget to build them along your journey.

(Also as another commenter suggested, Tinder is not a good platform to find dates virtually. Okcupid is a better free service. I've heard positive things about Match.com but haven't tried it.)

Also, tech meetups are probably different all around the world, but here in NZ they are not the right place to be hitting on people or even making friends really. I was thinking more along the lines of meetups which were non-tech related, like exercise meetups, meetups around films or literature, or around food and socialising.

I moved 3 times in my life to a different city and once to a different country and in my experience if you don't have a local social circle you high probably won't be able to sustain a healthy long time relationship. If you aren't Tony Stark you have to walk before you can run. Therefore at first you have to work on having a healthy private life with sport, hobbies and friends.

Talk to women, no matter how they look. Most guys are anxious about this, women find it refreshing to talk to men who don't have an agenda. If you're lucky they might even introduce you to their single friends. Even if none of that happens it's worth it for the friendships alone.

And don't forget to smile to strangers!

Forget about the "finding a date" aspect of it. If you're having fun in a relaxed setting, like in a class, you'll make friends of both sexes. You'll have more confidence as you're not trying to impress but just have an enjoyable evening wine tasting or learning Salsa. The conversation will be far easier without that agenda too. There's a good chance a dating opportunity or two will just naturally follow.

Ever notice you annoyingly seem to get more opportunity when you're happily dating, especially in the earlier phases? That's the confidence and happiness projecting on how you're perceived by others. So work on the happiness and confidence first...

You can trim/shave your hair.

With regards to clothing you can use instagram to follow men or pages whose style you like and use that as inspiration.

Finally, I'd recommend getting in above average shape. Make going to the gym a part of your life. An hour everyday before work of straight after.

While you're doing some/all of these, I'd start to just talk to everyone. Men, women, old and young. That way you get into the habit of becoming more sociable and confident.

I know these tips may sound superficial, but they help shifting an external locus of control into an internal one.

I agree that going to the gym and getting in shape can really lead you to life improvements, but do so with a qualified trainer. It is easy to hurt yourself and leave things in a worse state.

I agree about socializing. Typically, people want to tell you something so you just open the door for them to do so as long as your approach is free of hidden objectives.

Regarding superficiality, I do find the above to be superficial, but I think things are just more superficial in general. With the rise of social media, people tend to gravitate towards people who meet their physical ideal before looking further. What that means is that there are fewer opportunities to "know" someone. So if you want to participate in the standard dating game, you have to participate in the superficiality of it to the best of your abilities.

I met my wife on okcupid. I answered like 600 questions over time. If the other person has answered several hundred, it will create a match score that ensures a good conversation with someone who is 75% or better match. And a conversation helps two people get to know each other. I also ground away at the problem. There is a magic number of how many women you must contact before you find your girlfriend or wife. I can't tell you what the number is, but there is only one way to find out. That had me emailing dozens of women every 2-3 days. Don't let the metrics get to you; about 1 in 30 responded (there are old profiles out there), and out of those I went on a date with about 1 in 3 that responded. So over a few months I went on dates with maybe 10-12 different women. Some of them multiple times. All of them were fantastic, and I had a lot of fun doing various activities with them. But I didn't feel the chemistry until I met my wife.

Through this process, I just allowed myself to be myself. No pretense or trying to be who I thought they wanted. I allowed rejection to be a beneficial part of my process. I wanted someone who wanted me for who I am and vice-versa.

Of course, before I got into this process, I did what work I needed to do so that I was bringing something to the table. This is what "they" mean when they say "you need to get ready". I know, I was ready. Ready to bed the first woman I could. But "ready" really means having something to offer. Emotional availability, kindness, caring, being genuinely interested in someone else's problems. Not to fix them, but to be supportive and ready to help if called upon.

I can't stress this enough, what you have to give in a relationship is so much more important than what you want to get out of it. After all, that is what love is, giving to someone without a care of what you get in return. Second most important is knowing what you want, don't want, and what you can put up with, and knowing how to tell. The 10-12 women I dated before meeting my wife informed a lot of that for me.

I would just stay off of Tinder unless all you're looking for is a hookup. Tinder is superficial by nature; one look and swipe to maybe or no way. Hardly a way to identify a good mate. Actually, hardly a way to even identify a good hook up, because I can tell you from experience, hot meets hard doesn't always add up to great sex.

I'm pretty sure I would happily date almost any guy who knows Y Combinator exists, but I'm pretty much invisible to men who aren't illiterate, felons, drug addicts, drug dealers, or into hip hop culture.

I've tried dating sites, but every message I get is for sex, not dating. I send out plenty of messages, but few reply. I have almost no physical standards. Tall and handsome? I don't even bother, too much competition.

So I'm single, even though I would really like to share my life with someone.

Another thing: Don't limit your options to other techies. While it may seem like a good idea to be with someone who likes everything you like and works in the same field as you, that can actually get boring fast if there's little chemistry beyond a shared interest. My wife is not a techie by any definition and we rarely talk about hardware hacking and futurism (my main interests) because she would be bored to death. Otherwise, we have a lot of shared interests, and our philosophical and political views mesh well.

We "met" via a mutual friend who knew both of us well enough to know we'd make for a great couple, and she encouraged us both to start talking long distance. When we finally met in person, we had already gotten past the awkward "so what do you like to do" phase, and it made dating easier and less stressful.

You're looking at this in the wrong order. You need to develop some sort of social circle first. Some friends that you look forward to seeing on a regular basis (weekly or bi-weekly). They can be men or women (not every woman has to be a potential partner). This isn't even necessarily about your future partner coming out of this social circle, but this is about having some balance in your life.

If you have no friends and find a woman who shows the slightest interest in you, you will end up smothering them, because they become your entire social life. When they realize that you don't have any significant friends other than themselves, they will run for the hills (and so they should!). Someone having friends is a way to validate that they are likable and a fun person to be around.

Focus on finding friends, through whatever interests you have. Turn off the "looking for a girlfriend" vibe for a while, because it colours everything you do. I know this is super cliche, but when you've got a life that you are happy with, with social activities and pursuing your career and hobbies, that is when you will be at your most attractive to prospective partners.

I feel you though, online dating sucks... until it doesn't. There were times in my 20s when I felt a lot like you describe, but in my late 20s, I met my now wife. We now have 2 kids and I couldn't be happier, but I sure cursed the name of online dating for several years before that happened.

I've never tried Tinder or any of those apps. Never really saw the point....

My suggestion would be to work out and improve your confidence. Good luck!

I'm assuming Seattle has similar demographics so that might be part of the problem for the OP.

What are you doing in the gym? From the point of view of aesthetics, doing cardio etc is basically a waste of time. Focus on lifting weights and building muscle.

I'm reliably informed that being 1. Muscular 2. Not fat and 3. Stylishly dressed will put you ahead of many men physically.

The only way you get to meet new people as you get older is by making a concerted effort to participate in events and to try and make a wider group of friends in general.

All you talk about is what you look like and then you claim to be looking for a serious relationship. Relationships are not just for good looking people and although women can be just as shallow as men, they generally have a different set of biases about looks than men have.

Here is a secret that many people seem to fail to grasp: A relationship is based on relating. In order for that to happen, you need to be talking to people -- and not on tinder. That's a hookup app. It isn't likely to lead to marriage.

You need to get a social life. You need to learn to talk with women just because they are human beings and not because you met them on tinder. You need to learn to let them decide what they like about you. If they have a problem with your baldness, then the answer is "Shallow bitch. NEXT!" and stop wasting your time. Not every woman will care about that.

A good place to start is to get some hobbies, as other people are suggesting. Or even strike up conversation with people at the gym -- and not in a creepy "You are a girl, and I am only talking to you hoping it will lead to sex" kind of way. Just talk to people. That is the absolute first step in establishing any kind of relationship at all to anyone on the planet.

My advice: get married. Find a match maker or a professional match match making service. You're 31. I don't know what point in the West (and now more in the east as well) it became normal to be unmarried in your 30s but it's really unhealthy from a mental health point of view. At this rate you're likely to get married in your late 30s (which isn't bad but it isn't for everyone I think). So my advice is get serious and get married ASAP

Ask her about what she is reading. Talk about the article you are reading. Try to look for a common bond.

That is how my husband met me 17 years ago. Worked for us!

Good Luck. PS bag tinder, go find real people in real places that you like.